The VITAL Relationship Skills Course
Please note: This 2-day course is being split into two parts, each of these parts (with a new name) which will be 1 & 1/2 days. These two 1 & 1/2 day Essential Relationship Skills courses fully replace the previous 2-day "Vital Relationship Skills workshop" (as outlined below) and together will provide more time to explore, discuss, digest and practice each of the most essential relationship skills. Part One will be held on Saturday afternoon the 20th of September and Sunday the 21st of September. The cost will be $295 per person. - Peter Graham (July 2008).
The VITAL Relationship Skills Course is an important workshop packed with useful information. It addresses key issues that can arise in any relationship and helps to safeguard our most valued relationships.
This course recently was held and completed (March to May 2008). It was run over six evenings and you can click on the link to view a two-page printable description of this course (in PDF format).
There is no pre-requisite other than a desire or need to enhance your relationship skills and a commitment to accomplish that.
This course is for individuals and is not limited to or designed only for couples. These relationship skills are critical for close relationships such as marriages or couples but are also very useful for enhancing, maintaining or healing ANY type of relationship, such as with a partner, friends, relatives, children, work colleagues, business partners, team mates, neighbours, etc. Learning these skills also prepares us for future relationships (so we don't allow history to repeat itself).
It took many years to gather, learn and piece together and integrate the set of skills needed to effectively resolve relationship issues and to safeguard important relationships.
Peter also does relationship coaching with couples or individuals teaching these vital skills and principles and personally coaching those concerned to use them on their respective issues. In some instances, it is preferable for couples or individuals to first do this course (before the coaching), as it can accelerate progress and make "the ride" smoother (as the focus is less on teaching and more on applications of these approaches). However, that may not be practical and it doesn't prevent progress. For couples/partners, it is ideal that both learn the skills taught on this course and agree to use them but that is not always possible. It can still make a BIG difference even if only one partner learns these skills initially.
Consider: If we don't learn new skills to replace our old habits and old "solutions" (that never really worked or even made things worse), it is likely that we will see history repeat itself.
Remember: "If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten." - Jim Rohn.
Note: “If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.“ - Sydney J. Harris.
Learn: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.“ - Stephen Covey.
A primary factor in why relationships deteriorate is that “things happen” during the relationship (such as upsets, misunderstandings, disagreements, hurts or problems, large or small) that don’t get resolved (or aren’t fully resolved) or aren't resolved for both parties. They then remain in an unresolved state (i.e. incomplete and unfinished) and gradually accumulate. This often results in ongoing or recurring issues or upsets or bad feelings (which further complicates things).
Hard experience shows that having the will or desire to resolve such unresolved issues may not be enough, even though we try really hard to sort things out. A useful set of effective relationship skills are vitally needed so that issues and upsets can and do get resolved. These skills are learnable.
Where earlier unresolved upsets (accumulated in the current relationship and/or previous relationships and/or from childhood) are causing problems, this needs to be recognized and acknowledged and these may also need to be resolved - and they can be. This may involve private (one-on-one) counselling and coaching. It may involve learning and using some of the simple but effective healing exercises in the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle or by learning a technique like the Emotional Freedom Technique which is particularly effective in helping to resolve and dissolve accumulated emotional pain. We all have within us the potential to heal our emotional wounds and move on. What we need are some effective tools (that actually work) to help us accomplish that.
“This course brought my awareness to the actual problems or issues within my relationship and offered me skills that I can utilize with confidence…” – Sharon Claybrook. “This workshop was fantastic. … I have learnt so many skills … that have already made such a difference.” – Leoni Leaver. “The rules of engagement are immensely helpful. I thoroughly recommend this workshop to anyone wanting a more workable, loving and nurturing connection with the people in their lives.” – Alicia May. “This workshop can be invaluable to anyone experiencing difficulties with any relationship whether personal, social, at work or in your profession. Excellent.” – Martin Fisher. “Extremely enlightening. Valuable lessons that are worthwhile as a human being and your journey through life. Sounds deep, but true.” – Roslyne. “The skills and information presented in this workshop provide an invaluable framework for improving understanding and openness in relationships.” - A.S. “Very practical. The information was delivered in an easy to understand format and broken down into achievable steps. Peter is a highly skilled, encouraging and approachable facilitator. A very enjoyable course.” – Shelley. “This workshop has given me a well-stocked relationship toolkit … and the skills to start using it.” – Alex. “I found the workshop enjoyable, worthwhile, educational and money well spent.” – Jim. “Incredibly empowering. I felt powerless before in dealing with my responses, communicating with my partner and dealing with my emotional triggers. This course has given me immediate relief and tools plus resources for the future.” – Name withheld by request. “... a valuable experience in establishing effective communication with my boyfriend and the issues we face together in our journey.” – Name withheld. “Great for anyone to expand their knowledge of relationships and the mechanics that make them work well” – Deb. “A very good course to help identify relationship needs and to build some core skills to help satisfy those needs.” – Name withheld. “Very good. I think the ideas about how relationships breakdown is very good. This is also a good workshop for couples thinking about marriage”. – Fiona. “I got to realise the part I have played in creating problems with my partner and how I can resolve them and prevent them from happening again." - Trevor. “The awareness that this well presented course delivered helped me immensely. Thank you, very, very much." - L.K. “Very interesting. Not only the content but the way it was presented.” – L.B. And, many more.
The aim of this course is to provide you with important insights, understandings and skills that further empower you (by enhancing or adding to your existing skills) to heal and improve your relationships. These are all sound, workable principles and methods that have a high degree of workability. Yes, there is a learning curve and, yes, it takes time to master these skills and, yes, the learning continues throughout our relationships. Gaining an understanding of and getting a handle on these skills provides a solid foundation to build on and opens doors that might otherwise remain locked and bolted (and frustrating and baffling).
On this course, we will discuss or explore the VITAL skills that are needed to maintain, enhance and heal relationships. The cost of not knowing them can sometimes be vast.
The rules of engagement provide the framework and guidelines within which effective communication can take place. They are very important. Without effective communication, little or nothing else can be resolved.
One example is "Talk only about one issue or upset at a time". That may seem obvious, but it alone can make a huge difference. Have you ever been to a meeting without an agenda? It goes nowhere (other than resulting in frustration). Jumping from issue to issue doesn't work as it stirs things up as you go and leaves them all unresolved.
In an ideal world, both parties agree to abide by these "rules" or principles. However, even if only one person knows them, they can still be practical and useful because they are based on an understanding of what actually works and knowing with clarity what always and without fail throws "a spanner in the works".
Sometimes, attempting to communicate about relationship issues can be like walking through a minefield. In these circumstances, the rules of engagement help to open the door and make it possible to get some positive results by keeping things on track and minimizing the possibility of stepping on a mine or two along the way.
Date: The exact dates for the next time this course will be held have not yet been finalized, but it will start in August-September. It may be an evening course or held over one weekend.
Cost: $395 per person (with a huge 25% discount for couples).
Contact: Peter Graham on (08) 9381 4112 to reserve a place or places,
or email Peter at pgraham@iinet.net.au.
Venue: To be advised.
Recommendation: I encourage EVERYONE who does this Vital Relationship Skills Course
to also consider doing the Counselling for Non-counsellors Course (and vice versa). The skills and tools learnt on this basics of counselling course are very useful and especially in our relationships that really matter. The Counselling for Non-counsellors Course (amongst other very useful things) takes your communication skills to a completely new level as they are thoroughly practiced throughout the whole of this course. It's that important!Click here to go to Peter's Home Page.
Peter Graham
Last updated 19th of May 2008
Copyright © 2008 by Peter D. Graham. All rights reserved.